Adulthood.

Going into adulthood is like being a big kid with no supervision. The only difference is that we now have responsibilities - and what we do really matters. Not saying that as young ones what we did didn't matter, but now, we are the ones who make a difference in our spheres and what we say, think and do all play a part in whether we make this world a better place or not.

But sometimes, I can't help but feel that you know what? I don't think I have it all together, maybe sometimes, I just don't have the 'right' answer. Yet, as a young adult, I'm meant to know the 'right answers', I'm meant to make the 'right decisions'. But the truth is, that's not how it's always like. 

If kids have parents, who do parents have? I'm not a parent yet but aren't we all adults in need of having someone too? Maybe you'd say as adults we have friends, family or a significant other. But what about those questions we have that sometimes, no one can really answer for us? Who do adults have? Aren't we all in a way, like big kids with no supervision? (hypothetically speaking).

Maybe you know where I'm heading with this (or maybe you don't) but I really can't help but think that as a young adult, I'm not really alone in my everyday decision making and thought processes. I have Someone who is the guiding me. If I'm a big kid then in Him I call my Father. He makes me think, am I treating my children (from school) too harshly? Am I being firm (but kind) and setting the right boundaries? Or at home with my parents and siblings, am I treating them with kindness? Or with my colleagues, am I thinking the best of them? How am I really making a difference in the lives of those in my spheres? He makes me think - and that leaves me no longer a big kid unsupervised. He is my guide and my counsellor and I know I'm not alone in making 'grown up' decisions anymore.

Road trip!

String at Royal Sg Ujong Club Seremban, mum's hometown this Saturday. It's been a casual day, but a day full of me enjoying and truly being happy in the midst of my parents company- having a post - reflection after laughing at mum's jokes. I'll miss all of this when they're not around. It was nice seeing my mum and dad banter at each other. We're in the midst of Uncle Victor and Aunty Imbam's company. Miss these moments.

This club used to be the Agong's residence. It's a club now. I like the ladies toilets. It's got this old feel and small town feel to it. I imagined myself thinking back to these moments 20 years from now. I mean, I'm from the city so this is 'small' but imagine how things will be like 20 years from now. 

Anyways, today I had this real pleasant feel of 'small towness'. The clothes shop clothes for RM 10. Can't get that in KL! The small barber my dad got his hair cut at. The shopping time with mum, her telling me she'll pay RM 10 for one of my blouses. I love my parents. Love this place ❤️

Back to the days of Tasmania. A healing post ❤️

Law faculty 2011-2014 was where I began to dream dreams and realise my dreams. Even though it was a dream unfulfilled, I hold this place in a special place in my heart. This was the place I cultivated a love for the library, sat down on the grass and took in the views, took long walks from my accommodation halls to the uni, to the grocers, to the bus stop, to the city centre, even to church (except on those days my friends insisted on picking me up!). 

When I fell ill, and that was for 3 of the 4 years there, of course it was a surprise to everyone as to what it was. But to me, I was just grateful to God for His goodness to me in my life. I may not have the answers to all things that happened, or fully understand why - but coming out of it (even in the uncertainties of the future, knowing God's goodness, knowing His hold on my life) I come out with a better understanding of life, a stronger perspective on things, and a deeper enthusiasm for this journey we call life.

When you see the people around you feel fear or concern, a sadness - there's something to that that just isn't alright. Something kicks in and you realise, that's not okay. Life is meant to be lived and you gotta live it well, regardless the circumstances (and I'm sure God is with me on this one :D). 

Tas, you hold a dear place in my heart along with all the great people I came to know there, from friends, to staff to CF, church and the whole works. Perhaps this post comes a little late, but I had to wrap my head - and heart, around things first and foremost. 

A dream unfulfilled and a degree disqualified is just a stepping stone in this degree of life. I can't say those days were easy (as many know, even way back then) but what I have gained perhaps I dare say ;) I wouldn't pass up for something better :) 

Love to all who journeyed with me through difficult times, on to better days even in the midst of those tough ones :) 

Love,

Mary